(Sung to the tune of “Where have all the cowboys gone?” by Paula Cole.)
See what I did there? I took the song title and made it my post title, but I changed “cowboys” with “updates”. God, I’m witty.
Anyway, I owe you all a little explanation of the past week.
So I have this friend who had the asian fever back in high school, specifically a Filipino chick. He told me many stories that usually didn’t sit with me, probably because I consider everything outside of “what I know” to be bullshit - call me ignorant. There was one thing I distinctly remember him telling me that I couldn’t wrap my mind around and it still makes me nauseous every time I think about it. Rather than explain it to you, check this out:
Let me warn you that it is pretty graphic so if you have a weak stomach for gross shit like myself, look away.
Well kids, it’s time to try your hand at guessing another set of celebrity tatties. Last week’s rack was pretty easy and you can check it out here: Giant Water Balloons.
So without further ado, this week’s jubblies. Who do you think it is? They look pretty generic to me so it may be a bit harder than previous shots, but I’m sure that one of you boob experts out there will get it. Freaks.
This week’s Would You Rather is all about taking a chance. If you are looking for a less serious WYR, check a previous one: Fat Chick Vs Food Poisoning.
-The Setup- Let’s say you are young and not in a relationship. You just finished college and are moving onto the next stage in your life.
Would you rather take a chance and relocate to an area that is a far distance from your family and friends, let’s say across the country. You would only see them once, maybe twice a year. On the flip side, you have a chance to jumpstart your career.
-OR-
Would you rather stay where you are and try to build your career near your family and friends. The flipside is that you won’t ever know “what could have been” had you made the move.
Well? Are you a risk taker or safe better?
(This entry was inspired by some personal debate between me and a friend of mine)
Between the blindfolded lady in Halftime Show Hilarity and this article I have boobs on the brain. Okay, so I usually do anyway.
A recent study looking at the range of movement in a woman’s breast during exercise showed that boobs could bounce as much as 8 inches up and down.
8 inches! If my penis moved that much when I exercised I wouldn’t ever exceed a slow walk for the rest of my life.
According to the study “The overall pattern of the movement resembled a figure-8.”
My hat’s off to any of you ladies who can put up with that kind of action. Thank god my man boobs are small.
So I was sitting home Friday night watching the dance-along version of High School Musical 2 when a commercial came on for the new “Tia and Tamara Mowry” movie called Twitches 2. I thought “Holy Christ, those girls gotta be 30something and are still playing the ‘twin’ card on a kids TV station”. I pounded my twisted tea and headed over to my computer to do some further investigation. My findings were exactly as I suspected…
I saved the emo for my blog (if you’re really that interested, go there).
But I was feeling all sorts of fucked up about a few past relationships.
And It’s almost 2 AM. And nothing pisses me off more than having my sleep schedule fucked up.
Instead of discussing how he ripped my heart out and stomped on it leaving me to be a frigid, unfeeling bitch for the rest of my time on this god forsaken planet, I decided to write something that everyone universally enjoys.
Revenge.
