Ahh the 90’s. What a great time to be a teenager. It was a period in my life where great change occurred. I went from “eww girls are gross” to “I wonder what she looks like naked”. These hormonal urgencies were fueled further courtesy of a certain TV station, Nickelodeon. I have decided to throw together an homage to the Nickelodeon hotties that got me through those awkward years of random bonerage and female exploration.
Moe From GUTS - Sexy accent? Check. On a great show? Check. Banging Mike O’Malley during the commercial breaks? Check. I’m pretty sure Moe was the whole package. 
AYAOTD Blonde Girl - aka Rachel Blanchard. For some reason whenever I think of the Are You Afraid Of The Dark “storytellers”, this girl comes to mind. I had no idea what her name was, so I google’d “AYAOTD Blonde Girl” and found some interesting stuff. Apparently it’s the same girl that played Cher on the TV series Clueless. Talk about blossoming. I knew she was going to be hot, even at a young age. It’s all about the long term investments. 
Annie Mack - Apparently she has a real name of Meredith Bishop and is in some other stuff, but to me she will always be older sister Annie. Smart, Logical and SEXY!
Jewel Staite - from the short lived series Space Cases. She always intrigued me (aka gave me a boner) as a kid. It must have been the hair…Check out the goods now. Dayummm.
Melody From Hey Dude - Melody was a little before my time. I think I was still in the “girls have cooties” phase…oh wait, I might still be in that phase…Anyway, she was hot then and she is even more bangable now (She plays “Kate” in Dodgeball). Friggin’ Ben Stiller gets to hit that every night, that lucky SOB.
Patty Mayonnaise - Probably one of the sexiest cartoon babes that wasn’t a Disney character. God it feels creepy typing that sentence. She was the yin to Doug’s yang and I hated him for it. Blonde hair, killer tan, incredible fashion sense…what guy could resist her????
Melissa Joan Hart - Look at that picture? What teenage male wouldn’t be digging on Clarissa? Look at those hips. Her biggest downfall was that she seemed to be high maintenance…I mean making Sam use a ladder to get up there? Poor guy.
Summer Sanders - Oh Summer, how I loved thee. You played with little kids who stupid talents like making fart noises with their armpits. But that stupid show didn’t stop me from developing an unhealthy obsession of one day possibly seeing you naked. I’m still waiting for photos to surface
Amanda Bynes - I’ll admit. As a kid, Amanda Bynes was not only mediocre in appearance, but she was annoying as all hell. That skit “Ask Amanda” made me want to blow my brains out. Then the boobs popped out and little Amanda became the guilty pleasure of many men (who couldn’t talk about it until she turned 18… I meannnnnnn…). Plus she really is a very talented actress…She’s The Man, anyone?
Larissa Oleynik - Alex Mack was the “It” girl of the early SNICK years. She was the total package: An arsenal of super powers, a nice rack and a certain disregard for authority. It’s a shame she fell off the face of the Earth after that one movie she did. Maybe she turned to porn? Wishful thinking I suppose… -
So there you have it. 10 Nickelodeon hotties from the 90’s ranked and explained. I am sure some of you may disagree with the choices so please share your thoughts in the comments. Maybe there will be enough for a Part 2…
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OoOoOoOo It’s time for another Would You Rather Wednesday. This one comes from BpBc fanatic Big Kat and it goes a little something like this:
Would you rather date a girl who has:
1. A noticeable 5:00 Shadow on her face and can’t get it off.
- or -
2. Uncontrollable nose hair. It hangs below the nostril and cannot be trimmed. A big bushel full.
For the female readers, instead of dating the girl - Which girl would you rather be?
I’d personally take the nose hair. Even though it would gross me out, it wouldn’t look so bad from a distance (like in pictures).
Side note: I couldn’t find a pic of a chick with a shadow, so I found one with a mustache instead.
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This past weekend I had the privilege to spend my Saturday night at some hipster bar in Philly. It was a good time overall, but it made me realize why I’ll take the local hole in the wall over a popular place any day. Here are 10 reasons why:
(in no particular order)
10. Overpriced Drinks - Nothing like paying $5+ for a miller lite.
9. The no hat rule - I personally look good in a hat (ok not really). If the hat is worn straight and is in good shape, I think it should be allowed.
8. Covers - I don’t mind paying a cover so long as there is a drink special or a shitty band playing. Paying a cover just to get in is lame.
7. Inability to get a drink - Nothing is worse than waiting FOREVER to get a drink. Especially when you watch people at the other end of the bar walk up and get served right away.
6. Douchebags - This is probably the worst one. Apparently, it’s cool now to wear a slightly unbuttoned dress shirt with your bare chest exposed. Couple that with some slick Italian looking hair and a popped collar and you have yourself a bonified douchebag. And somehow, they seem to always get the girls…
5. Dancing - I don’t mind people dancing. Personally, it’s not for me unless I am in the right company. They should really designate a place for people to get down so I can stand on the edge and creepily stare at the girl on girl dancing =)
4. No Room - Being sandwiched between two strangers blows, especially when it’s two dudes.
3. Line to get in - A lot of places make you wait in a line to get in. Once inside you find that the place isn’t that packed and they just do it to look “exclusive”. Retarded.
2. Loud Music - Most people go to bars to socialize, I assume. It’s pretty tough when you can’t hear the person 1 foot away from you.
1. VIP areas - I guess they make people feel cool. I don’t get it.
Then again, there is usually more vagina than the local joint.
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So this past weekend saw the passing of yet another birthday. There was a lot going on so I wasn’t able to update as much as I would haved liked. While I try to keep personal shit off of BpBc, I figure a quick birthday weekend recap wouldn’t hurt:
Friday - Snowstorm hit, something like 5 inches. I crash my car into the guard rail due the roads not being plowed. No MAJOR damage was done. I get stuck on a hill going to work and am forced to park on the side of the road and walk the rest of the way. A few friends came over Friday night for some beers. At about 1:00am I hear my cat meowing like whoa so I wake up to see wtf is going on. I suddenly smell cat shit and start to look for it. Of course, it’s all over my bed comforter. Unreal.
Saturday - Went snowboarding up in the Poconos. Actually did some park and impressed myself with all the new stuff I tried. Sat night we went down the city to some bar. It was one of those sloppy drunk kinda nights where I wake up the next morning with a pounding headache, wondering why I only have a crumpled up 5 dollar bill left in my pocket.
Sunday - Spent the morning recovering from a hangover. Had a soccer game in the PM.
So it was a somewhat busy weekend. We should be back to regular nonsense on BpBc.
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This week’s Would You Rather is one of our grosser scenarios. Let’s say for X amount of dollars you had to sit neck deep (head never goes under) in a pool.
Would You Rather the pool be full of
1. Cow Blood
2. Raw Sewage
3. Cat Piss
Some notables: You won’t get sick or catch and disease from any of the options. You don’t have to swim in it, just be neck deep.
I think I would go with the Cow Blood as it would smell the least horrific. Not that I have ever smelled cow blood, but that’s just my guess. I suppose the real question is how much would it take to get me to do it… I’d go cow blood for a grand. Kid’s got bills to pay!
What say you?
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