Good Day, World! Today, I am pleased to bring to you the first of many personal life-lessons that I have picked up along the way. These lessons have sculpted me into the portly, drunk that you see in my sweet picture and will surely be as beneficial to you as they have been to me. So please, take these tips and cherish them.
This passed Monday, at the taping of the David Letterman Show, Drew Carey announced that he has been selected to replace (err, attempt to replace) Bob Barker as host of the beloved Price is Right.
At first glance, I emphatically approved of this decision. Drew Carey is a fun, lovable gentlemen with kind eyes, who has the on stage presence to handle a game show with ease. (Whose Line is in Anyway?! C’MON!!) Plus, the competition for the job was terrible, which may have boosted Carey’s appeal in my eyes. I mean, Whoopi Goldberg? Magic Johnson? Rosie O’Donnell!? The fact that all of these names were tossed around as a possible replacement for B-Squared just proves that the several people at CBS television don’t fully understand the allure of The Price is Right.
If you haven’t already heard, the new Michael Bay film “Transformers” came out early last week in theatres across the country. The movie (which has been out for only a few days) has already reached the number one spot. But, for all of those skeptical movie-goers who are unsure about this movie, allow me to put your minds at ease.
This movie kicks ass.
The Darkness’ latest single is not only the greatest song ever, the video for it is also the greatest the world has seen. Here is a link to the video.
The quality isnt that great, but if you havent seen it yet, i suggest you give a go. Great Song, Great Video, Great Band.
In other news, i’ll be home in less than three weeks. Then i turn 21 and drink the whole summer? cheeeeaaaaa
Thanks to everyone for coming to the wedding we had a few weeks ago. The wedding gifts were great and Haley and I are so happy with the way everything turned out. (Special thanks to Scott for the his and her bath towel set and also to Dong for the dildos) I have to be honest, I was a little worried about the wedding. I was worried about spilling wine on my white tux and making a fool of myself, but luckily i was able to keep it stain free for the most of the event and I returned it on time so as not to have to pay the late fee. Plus, the vows we wrote for each other…I was so nervous about messing them up!! I’m not the best public speaker and my stomach was doing somersaults, but once those were out of the way it was smooth sailing. And let me tell you about the wedding night! HA-Ho! We got this really classy motel room off of 95, I went down to the liquor store and got some arbor mist, we had a few drinks, danced a little, then we each went to sleep in our own double bed. She was too tired to fool around…but thats ok, I think waiting is good for the relationship.
Now, I realize some of the fellas have expressed concern that me taking her last name is a mistake. I mean….truefully, i dont think that it is a big deal. She thinks its sexist to always take the man’s last name and I have to say I agree with her. Besides…Timothy Scott Gorman has such a better flow to it than Timothy Scott “Engler”. Besides, as long as she is happy, I am happy. If that means I have to keep giving her cash so she can buy dresses that she never will wear around me, fine. If that means I have to always walk our dog, Didier, every morning and pick up his shit, fine. If that means I have to keep on masterbating in motel bathrooms while she fake sleeps, fine. I dont mind doing any of these things, so long as that smile stays on her pretty face. I know she loves me…she wouldn’t hoodwink me like that.
But i’m glad to hear that my friends are worried about me and care enough to say something. That really means alot to me, so thanks guys. Dont you worry about me. I’ve got other things to worry about, like decorating the new house we bought and so on and so forth. I’m pretty sure she’ll grow tired of that apartment in the city and will move in to our house before the year is out. Then who knows…maybe a few kids (via artificial insemination of course), maybe another dog, the world is our oyster! I’ll work two jobs if i have to!!! We’re gonna make it after all….
WHELP, i just got back from Barcelona this morning at 530 a.m. and let me tell all you avid readers something….Barcelona is an awesome city. Whether you like site-seeing, relaxing on the beach, boating, clubbing, drinking, whatever your poison, Barcelona has tons of it. I highly advise all to visit the city before they die…Anyway,
We arrive in barca on saturday the 4th at like 11 pm. All but one of us made it to the city…Vanisha lost her cell phone and wallet before she even got to the airport so she couldnt go, although she wanted to go to barcelona anyway w/o any money or means of communication. we actually had to convince her that going abroad w/o money was a bad idea. 6 of us made it in total, 4 girls, myself, and one other guy that no one likes… We are all super pumped and we wonder the city looking for our hostel and eventually find it. no problems yet. Then comes Sunday. We find that the guy no one likes, who i will refer to as David Vargas(in the spirit of spanishness), is somehwat of a leech. He just follows you whereever you go. We also find that he belches REALLY loud when out to eat, showers rarely, and wears only jean shorts. Also, David Vargas finds it necessary to make several “Big Mac” breaks when walking about the city. He is truly a pleasure.
So the girls immediately take offense to this and decide that they want no part of this guy on their trip. They begin avoiding him and coming up with excuses to get rid of him. AND, not surprisingly, their excuse of choice is “girls shooping time”. I fucking LOVED this, because i get forced to hang out with Vargas. So, for the next few days or so, i feel like im on a date with this ass - clown. fucking phenomenal.
At first, i am not too upset over this. I figure, “i can drown him out…just listen to his stories about his dogs ‘Murphy’ and ‘Charlie’ and how Murphy is older and dumber, while Charlie is younger and smarter and….” well, i could give probably tell you everything you could possibly want to know about those dogs, but i wont get into it. The point is, i would just let him ramble while i enjoyed the sites/the beach. I’d let him tag along and not ruin my vacation. But then i find out that the girls have decided to have “girls night out” as well. So now im pretty pissed. Now i am going out to clubs with this jack-ass, who only wears T-shirts and jean shorts, who will just stand by your side no matter where you go. UGH. I mean, truefully, we got turned down by countless clubs because of what HE was wearing. And he’s so inconsiderate that he doesn’t even apologize or think to change clothes. fucking tool bag.
Anyway, the drama came to a head when the girls began to publicly chastize him and it led to him trying to call out the girls. It ended with man tears, which are always the worst kind. Thankfully, i had changed hostels and was chillin on the beach at the time. I can actually say i preferred being in a hostel with strangers. I know that sounds sad, but its true. (Sorry for this post, im kinda venting about the people on my program)
On the whole, trip was fun (although it woulda be infinitely better had a gone with friends) Gaudi is an amazing architect and picasso is a magician with a paint brush and Spanish Guitarists are awesome. thats what i learned in barcelona… In other news, lotta studying this week and then im going to london for the week to harrass Ed. (itsahmuhsqueedie) hope all is well back home, cant wait to get outta here and back home for the summer! miss everyone peace out
Hiya! Well, its been about two and half weeks since I arrived in Manchester and I have had a blast. The nightlife here is awesome. Contrary to PSU style, people go out real early here (ie 730 or 8). The guys all spike there Mohawk (everyone has a Mohawk or some other metro cut) and the girls dress as slutty as possible. For instance, last night I went down to the “Bop?, which is a student bar located in one of the dorm complexes. We waited in the Queue for like half an hour, which gave me plenty of time to observe the…scenery. And much to my surprise, at least 65 % of the girls were wearing skirts or super small jean shorts. And its freezing outside! Now im not trying to say that everyone over here is a slut or anything…but it certainly appears that everyone over here is slut. I feel out of place with my stained jeans that are two sizes too big and my hoodie that smells like Tugger Toots.
Oh yea, I also got to go see The Starting Line on Thursday which was pretty sweet. I kinda wanted to go the other show down the street (The Academy Is… and Panic!At the Disco) but it was sold out before I could get tickets. So I happily settled for The Starting Line and MxPx. Then on Friday, our class took a bus tour to Liverpool to take a make-shift Beatles tour. Some of the THRILLING sites we saw…
- The Hospital John Lennon was born in
- The houses that each Beatle grew up in.
- “Penny Lane?
- Strawberry Fields
- The Church where Paul met John
It was quite an interesting day to say the least. I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I wasn’t so hung over and if the tour guide, who is one of our teachers, didn’t repeat so much useless information about The Beatles.
WHELP, that’s all for now from me. Hope everyone’s having as much fun as I am this semester. I know Bernie is loving his job. Early Retirement much? Oh yea, I also found out that the English love….nay, FUCKING love playing shitty American music, such as “MMMM-bop?, The Baywatch theme, and Weird Al. They play this shit in clubs too. I don’t get it.
Peace out nephews.
