Party Like A Rockstar In Vegas

Believe it or not, I’m more than just sex, drugs and rock and roll. There is a serious side to me, though not too serious. For a while, I actually worked a corporate job, wore a suit and kissed so much ass my lips became a shade darker. ::GASP:: While I am now self employed and a self proclaimed “entrepreneur” - whatever that entails - I still keep up on industry news via blogs and other news sites.

In between watching videos on CollegeHumor, twisting pretzels, fantasy football crap and celeb gossip on TheSuperficial, I saw that there is a badass contest over at shoemoney.com. The winner gets a chance to roll with their crew into Vegas. In ordered to be considered for the contest, they want to know why I deserve a chance to boost their celebrity status.

At first I was going to ask all of you to leave a comment as a testament to my partying abilities, but then I thought a bunch of pictures might be better. Let’s start a few years back at college and go from there. A quick side note - Most of the incriminating photos were pulled for the internet during my post college job search / 2 year stint at Deloitte.

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Writers Block Blows

The worst thing in the world when you’re a writer is writer’s block. I thought that after I cut the idiot ex out of my life, things would totally turn around for me professionally. And I was completely wrong. And for one stupid reason. Read The Rest >>

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Eva Mendes Maxim November 2007

Kinda Exotic. Not really my cup of tea, but I know some of you have the latina heat…

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Sometimes I miss him. I gotta work on my aim.

This weekend, a brilliant amazing thing happened.

At some point this weekend, be it between the shopping spree of epic proportions (and I do mean epic), the manicure, or the drinking myself into oblivion, I finally removed my head from my ass. Read The Rest >>

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I’m back, bitches!

Its been a super long time since I’ve posted anything anywhere and I’m sorry.

Kinda.

I don’t even have some amazing story to why I was gone. I wasn’t saving starving children or anything. My asthma was acting up and I was laid up sicker than shit. Thanks for the flowers and cards, ya assholes. When I finally stopped feeling like death, my laptop took a crap and I lost a big hunk of what I was working on. Since then I’ve been trying to put together the shattered pieces of my life.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned while being deathly ill:

1. Don’t ever go grocery shopping while on steroids. They make you eat. A lot. I looked into my cart, and there were 4 different kinds of chicken, lucky charms, oatmeal, mashed potatoes and creamed corn. I don’t know either, don’t ask. Read The Rest >>

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Where Have All The Updates Gone??

(Sung to the tune of “Where have all the cowboys gone?” by Paula Cole.)

See what I did there? I took the song title and made it my post title, but I changed “cowboys” with “updates”. God, I’m witty.

Anyway, I owe you all a little explanation of the past week.

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Which Came First? The Half Born, Slightly Developed Baby Chicken Or The Egg?

So I have this friend who had the asian fever back in high school, specifically a Filipino chick. He told me many stories that usually didn’t sit with me, probably because I consider everything outside of “what I know” to be bullshit - call me ignorant. There was one thing I distinctly remember him telling me that I couldn’t wrap my mind around and it still makes me nauseous every time I think about it. Rather than explain it to you, check this out:

Let me warn you that it is pretty graphic so if you have a weak stomach for gross shit like myself, look away.

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