True Life: my cooking lab teacher wears a matching apron/pants set. it’s kind of cute in that mom sort of way. just thought i’d throw that out there. also, donny, i thought of you today in my cooking lab. and here’s why. we had to test foods when they were used with different fats (butter, oil and drumroll please…CRISCO). flashback to senior week, 2003. it’s late, everyone is sitting in the circle pretty bombed since what were our tolerances back then? a game of never have i ever was going on, but had somewhat died down as we were running out of ideas. all of a sudden, donny speaks up: “never have i ever jerked off using crisco.” this part might be slightly exaggerated as the way i saw it since i was pretty intoxicated, but everyone just gets a little quiet as to let what had just been said sink in. everyone is looking at donny as he chugs some of his beer and then just looks at us, as we start to laugh. ah good times. who remembers that? was my version of it very different as it happened? give me some feedback.
anyway, going home this weekend. i need a break from drinking. I want to see Elizabethtown and bake a pumpkin pie. I think a hayride would be cool…but I think all the hayrides in the area are infested with 12 year olds, and i would feel kind of silly if I’m screaming as a clown popped out at me as the 12 year olds are not phased by it at all. maybe it’s just me though, who knows.
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HAHA Donnie jerks off with crisco oil! fucking doug you sicko
One part of the story was left out. Earlier that day (I think) me and gammy were driving around bumblefuck u.s.a. Anyway we see a sign for a town called “Crescoe”, so gammy’s like “Doesn’t that remind you of something? Isn’t it a product or something?” And I’m like “Nope, doesn’t ring a bell…” Then later that night the never-have-I-ever got way out of hand and gammy screams “You fuckin knew exactly what Crescoe sounded like!”