Comments on: F*ck, Marry, Kill - Kelly Kapowski, Jessie Spano, or Lisa Turtle

By: Zack Morris

Zack Morris — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:16:02 +0000

I would Marry Kelly……so i could f*ck her all the time…kill Lisa…and Fuck jessie spano…cuz of the movie showgirls!

By: Shean C.

Shean C. — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:51:55 +0000

First of all, I would f*ck the holy hell out of Kelly. No question about that!

I’ve actually had quite a crush on Lisa since the pre-Kelly and Jessie days (Good Morning, Miss Bliss, anyone?)so I would marry Lisa.

Jessie is dead!

By: Dan

Dan — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:30:02 +0000

err grande mocha too

By: Dan

Dan — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:29:14 +0000

haha great response boss…ill be back soon for those mocha grandes

By: Seamus

Seamus — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 05:17:06 +0000

I pretty much have to agree with the original post, but you should really bang Kelly, and that’s all that matters. Here are a few things to consider…
1. Jessie is going to be very successful and could be a great sugar ‘mama’ (shout out to AC). You could stay at home all day playing the Wii with the kids (which the femnazi would love), or even have her buy the Max for you. While she’s at the law firm, you’re hitting on the new new class of high school babes.
2. Lisa is already minted. You could have the same scenario, only she wouldn’t be all stressed out from work, just shopping.
3. Both scenarios entail Mommy going to rehab for an extended period of time due to her coke addiction, and if this took place during the summer while Kelly is off from teaching underpriveleged kindergardeners in Compton, she would come stay at the mansion to help take care of your kids. Remember, you two shared a night of passion back in the day. If mommy has an unfortunate accident with some pills or a sewing machine, you get Kelly and the mansion.

The moral of the story is… intercourse with Kelly is like points on the board in football. I don’t know what that means really, but it sounds like something John Madden would say. Oh, and kill the one of the other two that has PMS that particular week.

By: sly

sly — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 13:39:39 +0000

Gotta agree with the site on this one, but for different reasons. I’d kill jessie right off the bat. She is way too uppity and has that woman’s rights, feminist thing going on, probably didnt shave her legs or armpits while at bayside high. Gross. F the S out of Lisa, she always bugged me, it’d be a hate F. Marry Kelly Kapowski, its every boys childhood/prepubescent dream.

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 04:56:58 +0000

agreeeee WITH you…my bad

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 04:55:44 +0000

I think this is the all time best scene from Saved by the Bell….good choice to justify your decision to kill jessie spano…i agree you!

By: bc3 alumni

bc3 alumni — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 22:28:58 +0000

ohhhhhh baby, i would fuck spanos brains out(did i type that out loud?) because of “showgirls”, marry kelly because well, it’s kelly, and kill lisa, and no i’m not racist, but she was just a materialistic bitch that never gave screech, aka dustin “dirty sanchez diamond”, a chance