If you missed last weeks FMK, you can check it here: F*ck, Marry, Kill - 80’s Cartoon Babe Edish.
This week’s FMK is based around Philly’s finest mascots: The Phanatic, Swoop, and Hip Hop (which cracks me up that the “g-thug basketball rabbit” is called hip hop. So much stereotyping floating around that one, it’s better to just stay away).
So let’s see here. I guess I would kill Swoop as he intimidates the F outta me. Can’t have that.
I would bang Hip-Hop because he thinks he is so badass with his glasses, neckband and all. He needs to be put in his place, for sure.
I would marry the Phanatic. This is a no-brainer. He would keep you laughing for the rest of your life. It’s all about the long term investment. Take a look at his mom, you know he is going to age well (a test I apply to all of my women…jk).
Plus, have you ever seen his tongue? That thing could probably work some magic. Interpret that as you like.
Kinda weird typing all that.
What say you????
Check Out:
• F*ck Marry Kill - Mean Girls• F*ck, Marry, Kill - Spice Girls
• F*ck Marry Kill - Rosie, Oprah, Or Streisand
well, i couldn’t resist being the first one to comment, so let’s see….i guess i would marry hip hop, hoping that he knocks himself dead on the backboard when he jumps off the trampoline, then i’ll collect a nice little chunk of life insurance(cause rabbit mascots have sweet life insurance). i guess i’d marry swoop for the free season tickets to the eagles. and i think i’d fuck the phanatic and then just blame it on the beer….
now i know why you’re a bc3alumni….you can’t marry 2 and fuck 1. someone has to go my friend. i know its hard, but be strong.
Fuck hip hop
marry phanatic
kill swoop
ok, so, little error there, replace “marry” swoop to kill swoop, for the season tickets. i’d steal his costume and get to go to every game for free.
haha, what’s up kerv, you left that as i was just leaving my revision
You guys make me sick, especially you diddy. You are nothing but a vulture. You’d kill swoop because he’s intimidating? I guess you need a week, helpless woman to pursue. Kerv and Bc3, how are you gonna kill the mascot of the city’s best team? Me, I’d kill hip-hop, but hip-hop is already dead right? (go ask Nas) Fuck the philly phanatic and then marry swoop. The phanatic would be gone for almost the entire year with baseball, what kind of marriage would that be? With swoop, you’d only miss him no more than 20 sunday’s.
*weak, not week, damn typos
What about Soul Man of the Philadelphia Soul? I’d hit it.