So, I’m sure the absence of initials has plagued many loyal BpBc fans as of late. Questions like “Where is Mr. P.?” or “Why can’t I be his baby’s momma?” have been posed, and I am here to answer. While you desk jockeys have been slaving away at work (like I am otherwise), I have been traveling the world abroad and experiencing things men dream about and things you wouldn’t even imagine (Disclaimer: I only traveled to Munich, Germany for 3 nights). Either way, it was during the last weekend of this little celebration they have over there called Oktoberfest. Ever heard of it? But thankfully, I have come back more knowledgeable, more refined, and a little drunk. So therefore, I think I am now qualified to give you some knowledge squeezed from my brain juice on how to properly enjoy Oktoberfest. Enjoy!
Drink, Print Maps, Stay with the Crowds
Best advice in Munich. Print out maps for each person in your group with the name and address of the hostel/hotel you are staying at. The fact of the matter is that you will get drunk and split up. Whether it’s because one guy gets drunk and decides to sprint away from the group into the Oktoberfest fairgrounds (guilty), or because one guy ends up going to a German party in downtown Munich and wakes up on some random girl’s floor, it’s smart to have the address and name of the hostel with you. That way, when you wake up disheveled and confused, you can just hail a taxi, show the address, and relax.
As for staying with the crowds part, well – just don’t decide to accidentally go the wrong way, get to an authentic German brew house and only order beer during lunch time. They don’t like that. They will serve you, but give you your change back in the form of throwing it at the table in disgust. (P.S. We totally stole some of their beer coasters though! U.S.A! U.S.A.!)
Drink, Be Happy. Know English
While in Germany, you really don’t need to worry about speaking German. Weird, I know. But thank God the English language is such a bitch in the world that anyone under the age of 25 knows it as a second language. The only phrase that I really used over there was “Sprechen Sie englisch?” and the rest just fell into place. Also, hand gestures are key. If you want a beer, act like you are drinking a stein…the waitress gets it. As for payment, just pay with a 20 Euro bill and hope for the right change back. Either way, you win! If they take a little extra than what it costs, you won’t know! The main thing is that you will have a large, cold beer in front of you and that’s pretty much all that matters.
Drink, Be Happy, Speak English
The greatest part about Oktoberfest is the camaraderie. Even though we were only there for three nights, each night either we overheard someone talking in English or someone overheard us and made friends. When you combine long beer tables, long beer benches, and tall beer steins, it doesn’t matter if you are from South Carolina, Australia, or that damn Wisconsin state. All that matters is that you all together, speaking the same language, and are in Munich, Germany at Oktoberfest ready to drink. While there I hung out with some Army guys, Illinois alumni, a Harvard student, and a crazy Aussie that loved himself some dingoes. It was all crazy and cool as hell, and one experience I wouldn’t have missed for all of the Paul Hogan fans in Australia.
Drink, Be Merry, Get Laid!
So, the younger generation of Germans all speak English as their second language. What you don’t realize is that the younger generation of Germans also find the “American accent” incredibly sexy. Sexy to the point of “Yes, I am wearing this revealing lederhosen and am trying to convince you to leave your friends and follow me so I can scream words that you won’t understand into your ear” sexy. Of course, she may have been trying to bring me into a back alley so her boyfriend and his thugs could mug me, but I am a bit of an optimistic. Although I never found out what her true intentions were, the point was made. When you add the amount of beer being consumed by everyone during Oktoberfest, it’s like a perfect storm…or a German heaven.
In case you missed it, there is another key rule to enjoying Munich properly, and it’s included in every rule…drink! Germans are truly masters at their craft and make beer so smooth, delicious, and potent it’s incredible. It definitely does not translate when it’s bottled and shipped over a couple of oceans either. So if you are a true beer lover and want to visit heaven on Earth for a couple of days, make the trip. We planned ours for the last weekend of Oktoberfest (It starts up in September and ends the first week of October) so we wouldn’t be “tempted to stay any longer” and it’s a good thing we did. So if you make the trip, just make sure to enjoy yourself, be smart, and drink! Prost!
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