Ahh the 90’s. What a great time to be a teenager. It was a period in my life where great change occurred. I went from “eww girls are gross” to “I wonder what she looks like naked”. These hormonal urgencies were fueled further courtesy of a certain TV station, Nickelodeon. I have decided to throw together an homage to the Nickelodeon hotties that got me through those awkward years of random bonerage and female exploration.
Moe From GUTS - Sexy accent? Check. On a great show? Check. Banging Mike O’Malley during the commercial breaks? Check. I’m pretty sure Moe was the whole package. 
AYAOTD Blonde Girl - aka Rachel Blanchard. For some reason whenever I think of the Are You Afraid Of The Dark “storytellers”, this girl comes to mind. I had no idea what her name was, so I google’d “AYAOTD Blonde Girl” and found some interesting stuff. Apparently it’s the same girl that played Cher on the TV series Clueless. Talk about blossoming. I knew she was going to be hot, even at a young age. It’s all about the long term investments. 
Annie Mack - Apparently she has a real name of Meredith Bishop and is in some other stuff, but to me she will always be older sister Annie. Smart, Logical and SEXY!
Jewel Staite - from the short lived series Space Cases. She always intrigued me (aka gave me a boner) as a kid. It must have been the hair…Check out the goods now. Dayummm.
Melody From Hey Dude - Melody was a little before my time. I think I was still in the “girls have cooties” phase…oh wait, I might still be in that phase…Anyway, she was hot then and she is even more bangable now (She plays “Kate” in Dodgeball). Friggin’ Ben Stiller gets to hit that every night, that lucky SOB.
Patty Mayonnaise - Probably one of the sexiest cartoon babes that wasn’t a Disney character. God it feels creepy typing that sentence. She was the yin to Doug’s yang and I hated him for it. Blonde hair, killer tan, incredible fashion sense…what guy could resist her????
Melissa Joan Hart - Look at that picture? What teenage male wouldn’t be digging on Clarissa? Look at those hips. Her biggest downfall was that she seemed to be high maintenance…I mean making Sam use a ladder to get up there? Poor guy.
Summer Sanders - Oh Summer, how I loved thee. You played with little kids who stupid talents like making fart noises with their armpits. But that stupid show didn’t stop me from developing an unhealthy obsession of one day possibly seeing you naked. I’m still waiting for photos to surface
Amanda Bynes - I’ll admit. As a kid, Amanda Bynes was not only mediocre in appearance, but she was annoying as all hell. That skit “Ask Amanda” made me want to blow my brains out. Then the boobs popped out and little Amanda became the guilty pleasure of many men (who couldn’t talk about it until she turned 18… I meannnnnnn…). Plus she really is a very talented actress…She’s The Man, anyone?
Larissa Oleynik - Alex Mack was the “It” girl of the early SNICK years. She was the total package: An arsenal of super powers, a nice rack and a certain disregard for authority. It’s a shame she fell off the face of the Earth after that one movie she did. Maybe she turned to porn? Wishful thinking I suppose…
So there you have it. 10 Nickelodeon hotties from the 90’s ranked and explained. I am sure some of you may disagree with the choices so please share your thoughts in the comments. Maybe there will be enough for a Part 2…
Check Out:
• BpBc Throwback Edition• Top 10 Female Hotties Of TGIF Fame
• I miss my fatass cat
3 lovely ladies you left out, all from The Adventures of Pete and Pete:
1. Ellen, played by Alison Fanelli.
2. Mom, played by Judy Gafe (old I know, but I kinda dig the metal plate)
Last but not least
Petunia. Now I know she’s on Pete’s arm, but come on, she’s hot and can shake it.
One word - Topanga
Jewel Staite & Summer Sanders FTW
[…] over at BpBc examines our prepubescent crushes from the good old days of Nickelodeon … in the 90s. […]
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