Being the “Office” fan that I am, I often envy the situation of Jim Halpert. He has two, seemingly cool chicas, swooning for a piece of him. The best part is that Jim is just a “regular guy” and still gets the girl(s). It gives us all hope.
Anyway, he has this new character, Karen, eating out of the palm of his hand and he has Pam scratching at the door. I like his moves, although I am not sure who I would go with…
So I decided to break down the two women using my patented “desirability decision matrix”. Keep in mind, I put all of my woman through this matrix to see how they measure up. Anyone who scores less than a 90%, get’s kicked to the curb.
That’s just how I roll.
Please note that I changed Karen’s picture due to multiple complaints that the original didn’t do her justice
vs. 
| Category | Pam | Score | Karen | Score |
| Personality (35%) |
95 Pam has an awesome personality. |
33.25 | 90 While Karen also has a great personality, she has a few weird moments where I wouldn’t feel comfortable. (probably meant to be like that) |
31.5 |
| Humor (15%) |
95 Great sense of humor, always messing with people. |
14.25 | 95 Her sarcasm rivals Jim’s and Pam’s. |
14.25 |
| Boobs (15%) |
90 You know they look good in those tight dress shirts |
13.5 | 80 I haven’t seen too much, so I have to assume there isn’t much |
12 |
| Hair (10%) |
90 I am a blonde / lighter hair kinda guy. |
9 | 85 Not blonde, but not bad either. |
8.5 |
| Smile (15%) |
85 Not a bad smile, but not as good as Karen’s |
12.75 | 90 I think she has a great smile |
13.5 |
| Ass (10%) |
85 Sadly, both ladies keep the ka-booty well hidden so I’ll give them both B’s |
8.5 | 85 < ------ |
8.5 |
| Total (100) |
91.25 | 88.25 |
So after thorough analysis, Pam Beesly received a higher score and is therefore, more desirable than Karen. This system has never failed me in the past….or maybe it’s why I’ve been single for the longest time. Oh well, I’ll keep holding out for Pam.
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I’m definately a Pam guy, but Karen has her beat in the hotness department. Who knows, with the move to Scranton, Karen could move up on my list as well.
Diddy, any chance we can see your rankings for other females?
OK, first of all, horrible picture of Karen. Is that the girl from the office or Chyna from the WWF circa 1998? Terrible photo.
And you’re crazy to even have them be this neck-and-neck in the running. Karen isn’t even close. I may dedicate a whole pointsincase article to proving this.
In conclusion, Pam is heads and shoulders above any girl on that show. Even Jim’s old girlfriend, that girl who sold the purses, was hotter than Karen for god’s sakes.
Dude I agree that Pam is better than any girl on The Office. I may need to tweak my matrix, but I don’t know that she deserves over a 92. She’s no Evangeline Lilly…
While I respect and probably agree with your decision on the whole, there was that one moment when Jim tossed the fake hand grenade and Karen threw some paper clips in the air with a nonchalant look on her face and I was convinced I loved her more than I could ever love any woman. Also, Pam was engaged to the typical deuche her type always goes for while Karen went straight for Jim. Pam may win overall, but Karen at least deserves to be in the 90s to avoid a curb-kicking.
And in response to your Evangeline Lily comment, am I the only one who feels she’s slipping and Claire is giving her a run for her money?
well actually karen went for andy! andy!! thats horrid. or at least so HE says.
and id give pam a break since she apparently dated roy since like high school, and i guess people change right? poor pam =( she totally wins! jam
Claire is definitely moving up on my list, agreed.
Karen won me over when they were playing Call of Duty or whatever and Jim was stuck in the corner and shes like “aww he’s so cute” and she sniped his ass….classic
Yeah it kinda sucks that you can clearly see how Jim and Pam are gonna get back together. Karen packed up and moved her whole life for Jim…
where the FUCK did you get a naked Pam picture!?!?!?!
jam all teh way!
dude karen is way hotter than pam. not even close.
One….Karen is hotter than Pam. Two…..If she had as much screen time as Pam, her personality would be just as strong. Karen without a doubt.
youre a dumbass. you dont even put karen in the 90’s. she used to be a gap model, and she is smoking hot. youre probably some fat douchebag. go fuck yourself
Pam is cute and sweet but I’d say Karen is both hotter and has a better personality. “weird moments” duly noted, but she has actually been in a relationship with Jim whereas Pam has not. Hard to judge how a girl’s personality will change after you’re actually dating her. Plus, Karen actually knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it. Pam is kind of a wimp. I like assertive and confident women.
Jim is obviously in love with Pam so they’ll end up together in the end.. but if it was a level playing field I’d say Karen would get the nod.
I LOVE PAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pam was so pretty in the first 3 seasons when she was quiet and she wore her cute gray cardigans. and she is still pretty this season!!!!!!!!! and pam is so nice and she has an amazing sense of humor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck karen she was a bit of a fucking bitch!
ya she was pretty but why be with someone if they are bitchy almost all the time…
Pam is cute and sweet but I’d say Karen is both hotter and has a better personality. “weird moments” duly noted, but she has actually been in a relationship with Jim whereas Pam has not.
Hard to judge how a girl’s personality will change after you’re actually dating her. Plus, Karen actually knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it. Pam is kind of a wimp. I like assertive and confident women.
Jim is obviously in love with Pam so they’ll end up together in the end.. but if it was a level playing field I’d say Karen would get the nod.
PAM IS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THEN KAREN!!!!!!
- pam is gorgeous(even though beauty shouldnt matter) and cute and smart and shy and artistic and caring and fucking funny from season 1 to now
- karen is just a fucking bitch
if i was jim it wouldnt be a hard decision
jenna fischer is probably the best looking famous person (in my books) cus she isnt sickly skinny and she doesnt act better then others and shes hilarious
Pam is a d-bag. All she knows how to do is answer phones. Karen is now the head of her own branch. She is bad ass. She wears pant suits. And she looks like an Ecuadorian!
Karen is better
Its a close contest but Karen is just better overall and if Jim was a good boyfriend he would see what shes done for him and not be such a douche and dump her when pam sends him a piece of fuckin tin foil. Id go out with either of them if theyd have me but Pam just seems like too much of a pushover