Believe it or not, I’m more than just sex, drugs and rock and roll. There is a serious side to me, though not too serious. For a while, I actually worked a corporate job, wore a suit and kissed so much ass my lips became a shade darker. ::GASP:: While I am now self employed and a self proclaimed “entrepreneur” - whatever that entails - I still keep up on industry news via blogs and other news sites.
In between watching videos on CollegeHumor, twisting pretzels, fantasy football crap and celeb gossip on TheSuperficial, I saw that there is a badass contest over at shoemoney.com. The winner gets a chance to roll with their crew into Vegas. In ordered to be considered for the contest, they want to know why I deserve a chance to boost their celebrity status.
At first I was going to ask all of you to leave a comment as a testament to my partying abilities, but then I thought a bunch of pictures might be better. Let’s start a few years back at college and go from there. A quick side note - Most of the incriminating photos were pulled for the internet during my post college job search / 2 year stint at Deloitte.
At Pitt, drinking around a campfire.
Cocktail with Autumn. Post College.
Halloween 06 Man Baby costume. It was a hit!
My mom is motorboating Autumn. They are built for comfort, kids!
Pitt Buds.
Jacque’s 21st. Trying to look like a hard ass in Ali’s company. Failing miserably.
Beer pong at the Pearljam concert. Incredible show.
Some bar in Philly, staring at Margaret’s boob, trying to grab it.
Case race - 24 beers, 1 bottle wine, 1 bottle champagne. 15 Minutes.
Celebrating our victory over the girls.
Drunk Dan wants ice cream.
Mixing beer and champagne tastes like ass!
Beer pong. I left the cover off my clippers and took it to the scalp…
Me and my brother. New Years Eve 2006.
Topsail, NC. 2007. Good times.
If I win, my plan is to take my 500 and immediately put it on BLACK and double up (haha maybeeeee). Then head over to a strip joint for a few drinks with the guys and squander my winnings. I would then take more drinks to my face until that ficus tree over in the corner started to look sexy. And if they are lucky, they might even see me dance and we alllll know how that goes.
Oh and maybe during the day, when we are all recovering from our hangovers, trying to piece together the previous night, I might get to talk some shop with the guys who know what’s up.
So there you have it. I kind of see the Shoemoney crew as the guys from Entourage. Shoe would be Vince - the high roller, Neil would be Eric - reserved and professional, but let’s loose, Dax would be Johnny Drama - center of the party, Dillsmack would be Turtle - the smooth talker, Hartnett would be Billy Walsh - the in your face partier, Rebecca would be Vince’s sexy-ass-flavor-of-the-week-model - email me, please?, and I would be Ari (sorry guys) who is tagging along with the boys (and girl) for a weekend of debauchery…on Vinnie’s tab, of course.
Christ now I am all worked up over the idea of a Vegas trip. I need a beer to calm down…
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Looks like drunk dan was looking for a little ass play and a reach around with his ice cream.
A bit confused how my wife made it into the pictures, and I did not. Explain yourself.
She puts out more…sorry.
Can I still say that and get away with it? =P
i love being called wife…LOVE IT…
Vegas?
You shoulda told me you want to go baby, Ive got connections there.
Fucking Turtle?
Who doesn’t like turtle? Aside from Vince, he’s got the most game out of the group…