Comments on: Revenge is better than sex

By: The J

The J — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 22:38:33 +0000

My wife’s a nurse.

Trust me, I was seeking medical attention!

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:17:48 +0000

I always find it kind of hard to tell that they’re lesbians when they’re running. Well, depends on how fast, I guess..

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:13:11 +0000

What do you mean you looked her up? I don’t think you really did. She usually wears pants suits… and getting a peek at ankles just doesn’t have the allure it did in your great-grandfather’s day.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:08:53 +0000

Didn’t you read the package directions? You’re supposed to seek medical assitance for that. Stick to Viagra, it usually doesn’t last that long.

By: The J

The J — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:19:10 +0000

I had an erudition once that lasted for like 6 hours.

By: Clare

Clare — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:01:54 +0000

Dan should thank me.

The lesbians will come a runnin now!

By: Sassy

Sassy — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:00:46 +0000

Yeah. Know what you mean.

Reminds me, one time I was forced by my boss to attend this sexual harrassment law seminar. So some chick stands up and asks the attorney a hostile envirnoment question:

What to do about getting subtle signals that people thought she was a lesbian and therefore didn’t like her.

(She had a mullet cut - a really bad one - and 40 or so pierced earrings in her ears, and she was wearing farmer overalls and a tight T over Schwartzenegger biceps.)

By: sly

sly — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:59:29 +0000

Paglia went right over my head (looked her up though). I do, however, know what erudition means. 1 out 2 isn’t bad, right?

By: Sassy

Sassy — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:48:48 +0000

Forgot to say - re: # 14. Pastor, not priest? Right? That would be going a tad too far.

Sorry, love all you Catholics, but you gotta admit…

By: Clare

Clare — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:48:32 +0000

Aww thanks sugar.

Another prereq was being angry for no reason.

One time me and one of my female friends were drunk. Well, I was drunk, she skipped class because she was hungover.

The prof (Who was quite the beast) asked where she was.

I told her that we broke up. She pretty well left me the hell alone after that.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:31:44 +0000

Hey! I actually admit to reading Camille Paglia. Sometimes in mixed company! It wasn’t even an assignment! And I’m not even a lesbian!

(Did that just fly over most of the other gender’s heads? Yeah, probably. Dumbshits don’t even know what erudition means.)

No offense, Clare, but you know full well that the unspoken prerequisite for majoring in that is being ugly. C’mon, you sat in those classes. You have eyes. So I wonder why they let you in.

By: Clare

Clare — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:44:04 +0000

Hey! I was a womens studies minor!

(By complete accident. Dont ever major in psych AND soc, the classes overlap and they send the lesbians after you.)

Meh. Id be ok if i wasnt in love with the dumb shit.

But he got his.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:38:21 +0000

Oh Clare, you poor dear. I wish him ever uglier girls for the rest of his life. He should have to sleep with every single student in a women’s studies class who’s never had a date in her life. And, with the lights on…

By: Clare

Clare — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:54:22 +0000

With an ugly girl, nonetheless.

By: Tigli

Tigli — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:14:13 +0000

Rub poison ivy in his boxer briefs. Place them back in his drawer. (this carries a double-effectiveness if the main reason he is a douchebag is because he’s been cheating on you)

By: Tigli

Tigli — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:13:14 +0000

Rub poison ivy in his boxer briefs. Place them back in his drawer.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:08:24 +0000

Well if you’re going to put stuff in his mailbox, don’t replies to the personals ad make sense? I’ll help you write some. At least a couple should subtly allude to being in the FBI and being able to find anyone, anywhere.

By: Sassy

Sassy — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 19:53:33 +0000

Now Dan, you see why I told you I’d send you pictures of either me or someone else. Mine are magnificent, but hey I’m no tease, and you’ve shown your true colors. We should hack into your archives and delete those pics. It’d serve you right.

By: katie

katie — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:51:08 +0000

i like number 18. how annoying and inconveinent would that be?

By: Clare

Clare — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 19:39:02 +0000

Show those pictures and die horribly.

And I have that video of you, big boy.

And a wayyy bigger internet following.