Written by Dan - Tagged with Rants - 2 Comments

So it has been 2 weeks since I left Deloitte and the biggest thing I have learned so far (besides all kinds of pretzel making stuff) is that senior citizens own the daytime and there is nothing you can do about it.

Until recently, I never really noticed their presence. If you try to go ANYWHERE during the day, you need to give yourself an extra 15 or 20 minutes to account for what I call the “35 mile per hour rule”, which basically says that once a person turns 60-ish, the speed limit on every road they travel magically changes to 35 mph. At least it seems that way. It frustrates the hell out of me getting stuck behind a “F.O.P” (F-ing Old Person) who is doing 35 mph on a 50 mph road. I’m sure many of you share my frustration.

Senior Citizen Drive Joke

Not to mention all of the God damn “Rascal Scooter” and “Health Insurace (with the fat guy)” commericals I’ve had to sit through while watching The Price is Right. That shit is annoying.

Old people are slow and this causes everyone else to be slow too because they are constantly waiting. I propose we move all the old people in the US to a few midwestern states where they can all be sluggish and slow together.

Anyone else feeling that?

Sure, when I am old I am going to be slow - that’s a given. But I am going to be intentionally slower than normal. I am talking 15 miles per hour instead of 35. I am going to enjoy every second of causing younger people frustration and being an general asshole. I figure, hell, if I have to put up with this crap now, I am going to make it 10 times harder for young people to deal with down the road. Muahahaha.

Oh and Diurnal is the opposite of Nocturnal. I had to look that one up no doubt.

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2 Comments»



Comment by bc3 alumni on November 17, 2006

very weird, wow, i was just on the road and the guy was goin 20-25 in like a 35, and there was a whole line behind him, me being the first in line, so i think he got the idea when i was tailing him so he pulled over and i did the “aggressive, get the fuck outta my way” pull around him move, so yeah, w3rd to that

 
Comment by Meg Ashby on November 20, 2006

I have thought about quitting my job because of old people during the day. They are everywhere and they are the reason I have terrible, awful road rage….

 
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