The worst thing in the world when you’re a writer is writer’s block. I thought that after I cut the idiot ex out of my life, things would totally turn around for me professionally. And I was completely wrong. And for one stupid reason.
I can’t write without him. He makes me absolutely bat shit crazy, and I want to wrap my hands around his neck and choke the life out of him every time he speaks, but without him, I can’t get the words onto paper.
That, my friends, blows more than Lindsay Lohan for a cocaine dealer. So I was thinking of various ways to solve my problem. And I came up with nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Maybe a posting on Craigslist can help.
I’m thinking something like this: Chunky brunette writer seeks tall, dark handsome man for dysfunctional relationship. Must be willing to call out the wrong name during sex, tell me I should diet, and be so self obsessed even his own mother hates him. Nice guys need not apply.
Any takers?
Check Out:
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Hey Clare,
I suggest you try what I do. Get drunk and then sit down at the computer (or in front of a notebook) and write. In the morning, it may not be exactly coherent or legible, but enough ideas will be there to help you put something together. Good luck!
That is not a bad idea.
Hmm.
Ive given careful thought to your problem clare…if you hit a snag you should just take boob shots and post them. can’t go wrong there.
And Mr. P:
You don’t want to witness drunk Clare behind a keyboard…I am pretty sure that the last time I talked to her when she was wasted, I somehow ended up gettingt laid over the computer. I didn’t even know some of the stuff she was spitting out existed!
“I want to shave your pubes and then use your semen to stick them to my face”…eh, Clare? =P
so be careful what you wish for…
I thought what we had was special.